O my soul,

Do you know someone whose behaviour has been so heinous it contradicts even the gospel of Christ? Whose conduct over an extended period has been an ongoing test of forbearance and forgiveness? Whose pride and blindness have made them oblivious to the harm they have been continuing to cause?

Would you write off this individual as being of absolutely no use in the Kingdom and have nothing further to do with them?

Well don’t!

Listen instead to Paul’s urgent exhortation towards his beloved fellow worker Philemon and to the church that meets in his house.

I appeal to you for my child, Onesimus, whose father I became in my imprisonment. (Formerly he was useless to you, but now he is indeed useful to you and to me.)

― Philemon v10-11

Onesimus was this utterly wearying and useless individual. Moreover it seems pretty clear that he had been a thief, preying upon Philemon, his own master.

If he has wronged you at all, or owes you anything, charge that to my account. I, Paul, write this with my own hand: I will repay it⸺to say nothing of your owing me even your own self.

― Philemon v18-19

Philemon seems still to be smarting from the whole experience and I’m quite sure would have wanted nothing further to do with Onesimus, who by the grace of God had been removed from that situation for a while.

But Paul would have none of it.

Consider the letter as a whole. It is about nothing other than Philemon’s forgiveness of Onesimus and the restoration of their relationship. Understand the cost and the time and the trouble taken to write and send a letter in those days. It must have been of great importance to Paul!

What sort of man was Philemon anyway that such a letter was required to be written to him? Was he harsh and unforgiving?

By no means!

Listen to how Paul addresses him.

I thank my God always when I remember you in my prayers, because I hear of your love and of the faith that you have toward the Lord Jesus and for all the saints, and I pray that the sharing of your faith may become effective for the full knowledge of every good thing that is in us for the sake of Christ. For I have derived much joy and comfort from your love, my brother, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you.

― Philemon v4-7

Let us not stand in judgment on Philemon then. Which of us could claim such love and faith and of being a source of such refreshment to the hearts of the saints?

And now notice both how gently and how firmly Paul brings up this matter.

Accordingly, though I am bold enough in Christ to command you to do what is required, yet for love’s sake I prefer to appeal to you⸺I, Paul, an old man and now a prisoner also for Christ Jesus⸺I appeal to you for my child, Onesimus.

I would have been glad to keep him with me, in order that he might serve me on your behalf during my imprisonment for the gospel, but I preferred to do nothing without your consent in order that your goodness might not be by compulsion but of your own accord. For this perhaps is why he was parted from you for a while, that you might have him back forever, no longer as a bondservant but more than a bondservant, as a beloved brother⸺especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord.

― Philemon v8-10a,13-16

Paul himself had already received Onesimus into relationship with full forgiveness and restoration. His letter to the church at Colossae written at about the same time tells us as much.

Tychicus will tell you all about my activities. He is a beloved brother and faithful minister and fellow servant in the Lord. I have sent him to you for this very purpose, that you may know how we are and that he may encourage your hearts, and with him Onesimus, our faithful and beloved brother, who is one of you. They will tell you of everything that has taken place here.

― Colossians 4:7-9

Paul characterised this former reprobate as a faithful and beloved brother, one of them. One of them! And he was entrusted with representing Paul to the Colossians. All was forgiven. All was restored. Praise the Lord!

And so Paul had the highest expectation of how Onesimus be received⸺as a beloved brother. He also credited Philemon with the grace and forgiveness to be able to choose to do this without compulsion.

Confident of your obedience, I write to you, knowing that you will do even more than I say.

― Philemon v21

There was no command here from Paul, so the obedience in question was obedience to the Lord himself.

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.

― John 13:34

Did Jesus’ love for us include forgiveness and restoration? Yes it most certainly did!

And so what are we ourselves to do when confronted with individuals like Onesimus, whom we are tempted to write off and have nothing further to do with?

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.

― Colossians 3:12-15

Humility comes from having been forgiven, from having been restored. And thankfulness for this is the antidote to pride and self-importance.

O my soul, put on love, and love and forgive each one just as Jesus did! 🙏